Fast as a Gazelle, Tall as a Gigantor, and now...

Dr. Astrid Manning

Knock Out!#32

Em-ILL-Y!

Click this link while reading this bio to start the music!

Em-ILL-Y

Army with harmony

Dave drop a load on 'em

Em-Ill-ly, how can I explain it

I'll take you frame by frame it

To have y'all jumpin' shall we singin' it

Em is for Yum, Ill is for Kill, scratchin' temple

The last LY...well...that's not that simple

It's sorta like another way to call a sass a badass

It's five little letters that are missin' here

You get on occassion at the other party

As a game 'n it seems I gotta start to explainin'

Bust it

You ever had a girl and met her on a nice hello

You get her out on the field and feelin' real mellow

She starts to run she grabs it down she rips it out of space

Then you wonder how you got all that dirt on your face?

It's not a front, F to the R to the O to the N to the T

It's just her way it’s how she plays (Boy, that's what is scary)

It's Em-ILL-Y, time- no time for you to get it

There's no room for relationship,

there's just room to rip it

How many sisters out there know just what I'm gettin' at

Who thinks it's wrong 'cos I'm splittin' and co-hittin' at

Well if you do, that's Em-ILL-Y and you're not down with it

But if you don't, here's your membership

Chorus:

You down with Em-ILL-Y? (Yeah you know me) 3X

Who's down with Em-ILL-Y? (Every last homie)

You down with Em-ILL-Y? (Yeah you know me) 3X

Who's down with Em-ILL-Y?! (All the homies)

Becky "I love ab workouts" Abe

Under the guise of teaching unsuspecting teens the gift of geometry, Becky Abe has changed scenes from secluded Santa Cruz to the glitz and glamour of San Diego. Having taken a two year hiatus from club ultimate, Becky is back and ready to take over the Women's ultimate scene. After spending her ultimate years dabbling with lesser talent, namely Coed and Open (yes, Becky played open in college), Becky has shed the boys and stepped up to help Knock Out! pound the competition in their first season. On the D-Line, Becky enjoys shutting down the opposition, laying out and looking good doing it. Her goals for the season are to be in the best shape of her life, to play with fire every point of every game, and to inspire and pump up her teammates with her sick play.

Heather "Knock Outest Knock Out" Wolnick

Heather can only be described with superlatives.

- Heather was once the world's finest figure skater. Tonya Harding, envious of Heather's style, grace and power on the ice, once started a fight with her. The ensuing brawl was no contest (Heather doesn't suffer fools gladly), and was described by Maxim magazine as the "palest, blondest, sexiest girl-on-girl action of all time."

- At Penn State, America's #1 party school, Heather found the ultimate sport for her in ultimate frisbee. The PSU women's team was named after the Egyptian goddess Isis, the patron deity of various skills, including shotgunning and boatracing.

- On any given team, Heather invariably possesses the most precise flick and the most decisive backhand. She is also the most likely to forget to eat, as she's too focused.

- Off the field Heather applies her keen sense of logic to legal matters, earning her the nicknames "Hammer of Justice," "Resolver of All Disputes" and "You Just Got Served."

- When drunk, Heather becomes the giggliest, giddiest conversationalist. If you're easily embarrassed it's best to avoid playing hot seat when she's around, however, as she will cross-examine the crap out of you.

And there you have it. Heather Wolnick -- truest friend, first-rate teammate, superwoman.

by Steffi Wu

Bonnie's Bio Rap by B

Bonnie's Bio Rap by B

So I'm the niece of Bonnie C. from the east,

here's a bit about why the girl's so sweet

Number one, she laid back but she still abstract

A tiny head on that neck but a brain full of facts

Some things concrete, some things she dreams

Like rights for all and providing all with the means

Number two, she like the music that is the best in the world

I heard Shakira and Volta on a mix I just got from the girl

Number three, she's always up for what you got on your mind

You need to talk, you wanna throw, you wanna have a good time

Yea, she dirty, but damn she kind

Her words are so fresh that you'll never mind

Anyone that met her would love her I bet

Meet the girl, Ok cupid, she's all over the net

KATHERINE MARY “REVERSE COWGIRL DONKEY KICK” SULLIVAN

DJ Sullmaster Flex, renowned for her bumpin’ beats, moonlights as an Ultimate player on the weekends. Fueled by her past as a go-go-dancing, Okie Dokan, corn-fed Jayhawk, Sulls has moves beyond your comprehension, so good luck keeping up. Wherever you tries to cut on the Athlete Formerly Known as the Deuce Deuce, she’ll be there—waiting.

The only place you can even dream to beat this year’s Deuce Nil is at the party, where—due to an underachieving liver and an overachieving esophageal reflex—she will be the first to boot. But make no mistake, you’ll most certainly remember SullPatch was there. You can thank her later for starting that mad dance party that left you even sorer than last week's track workout.

K Sizzle will work you to death, lay out “D” you on every under, sky you on every over. What K Murda holds back in flash and flair, she makes up for by grinding your shit. Chances are, you’ll say “Foul” and you’ll hear “Contest”—it’s not her, it’s you. There’s no crying in women’s Ultimate.

Don’t let Sully’s trusty red cap, braided pigtails, freckle-bespeckled exterior, or affinity for Frisbee skirts fool you, she’s legit. So when she outworks, outplays and outthinks you, don’t feel bad. She’s just an artist with the one-twos.

(Written ever so kindly by AJ Hofland)

Taylor Swift's #1 fan

My name is Teresa (insert nickname here). I play frisbee which is surprising considering I have trouble walking on solid ground. I throw massive backhand hucks. I love tay tay* and if you do too, odds are you will be my new best friend. I used to get drunk off two mikes hard lemonade but now I can drink half a bottle of tequila and feel nothing. I am on the eating team--my credentials: destroying a Vermonster with 3 other girls in six minutes. When it gets foggy, I like to wave my arms and yell "Expecto Patronum!" I have been on the UC Davis Pleiades for the last 4 years, and captained the last 2. Now I'm ready for some Knock Out!

*also known as T-Sweezy or Taylor Swift.
*Taylor Lautner's abs would be acceptable too.

--written by Lauren "Ducky" Carden

Teresa Feng #6

Susanna Maria de Guadalupe Hernandez Silva

Hola,

Me llamo Suzie pero alugunos me llaman Silva, Hott Sizzle, Super Suz, o peanut. Yo soy del Havasu Hood en AZ. Hace un calor de mierda alla asi que ahora vivo en San Diego. Aca en San Diego encontre muchas cosas nuevas como la playa, un trabajo, cesped, ballenas, la playa, el zoo, y por supuesto Knock Out! Empeze a jugar Ultimo en la Universidad de Redlands, CA. No somos algo grande alla pero estamos crecendo y mejorando poco a poco. Las cosas que me hacen feliz ademas que
Ulitimo son... dormir, escuchar a Marvin Gaye, jugar basketball, acetunas verdes, la bicicleta de mi abuela, cervesa barata, comer Hott Cheetohs con Tapatio con mi novio, ir a Forever 21, y Argentina. Me siento muy afortunada estar en este equipo, la gente son rad, el Ultimo esta a un nivel que nunca juge, y no puedo esperar para lo que viene.

Nos vemos en la cancha,
Susanna Maria de Guadalupe Hernandez Silva

I FEEL

I feel a lot things (and I feel like that’s what she said).

I feel like I’m going to be a third year at UCLA and I feel like I’m wrapping up my 2^nd year of ultimate (no long list of impressive club teams to insert here…hmmm….does practice player count?). I feel like the blu vets named me kodi(ak) but people in the outside world call me Bri. I feel amused when people realize that kodi is not on my driver’s license.

I feel like I like eating, huskies, sharpies, bears, hammers, hucks, numbers, and shiny things. I feel happy when I play bp and quarters but sad when I play flip cup. I feel like I don’t like wine bags, getting distracted by shiny things, and long feelings talks. I feel happy when I get to eat food between games but sad when I have to put food down to play. I feel unhappy with the color pink and sorority squats. I feel happy in big comfy sweaters and reluctantly happy in track shorts (because LA is so hot). I feel like shirts aren’t 100% necessary at tournaments after the sun is up.

I feel excited to play for KnockOut.

I feel a lot of feelings.

#23 Sabrina "Kodi" Fong

Cereal

My name is Jane. Some know me as Austin, Blue Hat Girl, or Girl on the Ground a Lot. I just completed my fourth and final year with the UCSD Psychos, where I served as TD my senior year and Life of the Party all four years. Some of my favorite past times include stalking other ultimate players (i.e. Georgia, Gwen Ambler, and players with funny blogs), drinking until I BTFO, being good at stuff, mumbling, and most of all, Hanging the O. Some of my many talents include high release, poachy D, laying out (only sometimes gratuitously), shotgunnning, being an official Judge of Cool (even though I, myself, am not that cool), being funny online (this would be a lot funnier if I actually wrote it), and being logical. My dreams and aspirations include being good at the ukulele, BTFO-ing less, and having my best year of Ultimate yet. If you would like to get to know me better, some of my topics of interest include ears, anything ultimate-related, and cool stuff online. I’m super stoked for this season with KO, and I’m looking forward to getting even better at stuff.

PS I like cereal.

This One Time, at Band Camp...

Fact: My name is Tidal. Not Tittle.

Fact: I went to the first Ultimate practice because my alternative was reading ahead for class. Ultimate or studying? Gee, such a hard decision.

Fact: I became addicted to Ultimate at the very first practice.

Fact: I'm ridiculo-STOKED to play KO!

Fact: I make up my own words/phrases. My favorite is 'cow muffins.'

Fact: I'm the BIGGEST band geek you will EVER meet.

Fact: I play the tuba, trombone, horn, flute, piano, anything with mallets and I'm learning the ukulele. The tuba definitely wins as the coolest/best instrument. Low brass > everything else.

Fact: I'm pro-band geeks for world domination. Check the picture if you don't believe me :]

Fact: I played for the UCSD Pep Band

Fact: The band had rehearsals at the same time as practices, so I ended up ditching them and playing Ultimate. BEST DECISION EVER.

Fact: I'm the least ayshun asian you will ever meet. Can you say twinkie? Get it? Twinkie? Yellow on the outside and white on the inside???

Fact: I'm full of really, really, really bad jokes.

Fact: I can be bribed with Skittles.

Smile. Laugh. Win.

Brynne "She Bee Stingin" Speizer made her Ultimate debut with the Wellesley Whiptails in the beginning of the 2000s. A total sports novice, Speizer had her work cut out for her. Initially, she was only interested in joining because of the group's reputation of "smiling," "laughing," and "silliness," on a campus known for being serious and sober. Like a moth to a flame, Speizer has played Ultimate ever since and has continued the Wellesley Whiptail tradition of proliferating "fun."

Speizer is thrilled to join Knock Out for the team's inaugural season. Having spent most of her club ultimate career in the mixed division, Speizer is psyched to play in the women's division for the second year in a row, after a 2009 season with Lady Godiva. Having spent time with the sexy crew of Brown Chicken Brown Cow and the mischievians of Mischief, look for Speizer to be psyching/sexying up her teammates and getting Big Ds on you. Don't let her addiction to fun and cheer fool you, Speizer aspires to come out on top. in every way.

In addition to suiting up for any challenge on the field, she will throw down on the dance floor anytime. Seriously, you should try it. Her musical beats of choice are disco and funk but will find a way to knock out the competition someway, somehow, on or off the field. Just ask Ben Bergen (Bitch). A native to the Bay Area, Speizer aspires to join the hot, hot lifestyle of San Diego living. In the mean time, she continues to practice shadowboxing and helping the kids in the Yay Area. It's not such a bad place, really. Above all, she loves ripe nectarines, the warm waters of Hawaii and her childhood dog, Buddy (RIP).

She's Awesome and Modest: Krisztina Jozsef #10

KJ is BA like whoa. Born in Budapest, Hungary she can't talk English too good and therefore uses TLAs and abbreevs like it's NBD. So you best Gw/theP cuz she fo'sh ain't waitin fo no1. SBI.

Back in her youth she was a gymnast and used her gymnasty skillz in high school to win 2 national cheerleading championships. Yeah, you read that right. Cheerleading. But now you'd probably recognize her as THE face of women's ultimate: the UPA mag used her pic for the 07 Club Champs and that same pic appeared on the College Championships website main intro bar until the recent UPA-USA changeover.

KJ helped captain her undergrad team the NYU Violet Femmes to their first and so far only nationals appearance. She then moved to LA to play her last year of college eligiblity with UCLA's Bruin Ladies' Ultimate. She has just finished up her first year as BLU's assistant head coach where she did a fine ass job and plans to do it again next year.

This whole watching/coaching ultimate thing has got her itching to dust of her cleats and FSU with KO this season! Her GP is Bs to the Dubb and to look good while doin it.

(In the comment box below, see if you can correctly translate what just happened.)

Agent Profile: Carolyn Finney

Name: Finney. Vertical: Higher than yours. 40 Time: DNF. Favorite Color: Dodger Blue. Favorite Food: Bacon. Resume: 2009 SW Region club champ. College Nationals Record 25-3, 2009 National Champ, Lowest finish 2nd. Theme Song: All I do is Win, DJ Khaled. Position: I don't really know what to call it, but if Kobe was an ultimate player, he would play the same position.

The Thrilla From Manila!

This Knock Out! lady is a knockout in many of life's arenas. A connoisseur of trucker hats, reality TV, and desserts of all kinds, she's just as comfortable breaking it down on the dance floor as she is breaking the mark. Her knowledge of pop culture is just as frightening as her flick. Her freakishly long arms are perfect for skying and handblocking. She will outdrink you, your friends and especially your mom. She will beat you to the disc. After the afterparty she'll ask you where the after-afterparty is, and after the after-afterparty she'll make you the best ramen you've ever had. Her energy both on and off the field is contagious, and her laugh can be heard from miles away -- which is lucky for Knock Out!, because she calls San Francisco home. Lucky for her, she can look forward to sunny practices in San Diego and tournaments in warmer places.

Who is this mystery baller/shot caller? None other than Sheeva Zarechian. Watch out world, she's a Thrilla from Manila and brings spunk, style and mad skills wherever she goes.

By: Steffi Wu

Ok, who invited the foreigner?

Aura Mackenzie is a recent import to San Diego from London, England. You won’t be able to tell from her accent much, although her on-field expletives, for example: “wanker”, “twat”, and “piss off you bloody seppo” are a dead giveaway. The great thing for her is that nobody here really finds any of these particularly insulting. The bad thing for her is that she’s not really current with American pop culture and sometimes feels like she’s missing some essential programming. What are The Hills? Who is Jessica Simpson?

Aura’s been playing ultimate for quite a long time in London – the last 5 years of which have been with the women’s club team Iceni (reigning European champs). If you don’t know what Iceni means, ask Aura sometime – the 2,000-year-old coin she wears when she plays is a cool story. She’s also currently undefeated in San Diego ultimate, having hindered helped Roadhouse to victory at One Love this spring.

Aura is a team player and will throw to absolutely anyone she feels is open, including people who might not realize it (consider yourselves warned). She also appreciates a nice cold beer, or equally a cup of tea. Milk, one sugar – thanks.

Buh Bye Northern California...

and HELLO San Diego (again)!!! Lauren "Buh Bye!" Gibson is a woman of all trades…surfer, hiker, ultimate player by day and amazing painter, craft/jeweler, cook, health nut by night! This woman does it all! She’s had heaps of ultimate experience starting off with her Humboldt Hags, playing coed with San Diego's Bucket, Friends with Benefits, and Pleasuretown, women's with Safari, and is now the newest addition to Knock Out! She also holds many tournament championships with Chulajuana Brothel and False Itals (but sorry about your last OLOB run :-P)!

Her nickname Buh Bye! comes from one of her most favorite off season team…Hot Lava which consistently finishes in semis or finals of the infamous Kaimana Klassik tournament. Lauren is so damn fast and constantly cutting past her defenders that she's always saying “Buh Bye!”

Lauren is excited to be moving back to sunny San Diego and being on a team with regular practices. Her goals this season are to train hard with fun, positive, strong teammates and work on her longer distance throws. Her non-ultimate goals are to become a professional surfer model (that's right, she spent all last week on a surfing photo shoot!) and to figure out a way to develop her creative craftworks into a unique self owned business.

Happy Birthday Lauren Gibson...Knock Out! and all of San Diego's Ultimate players are psyched to have you back!

KO Agent Profile: Tambler #11

NATIONAL SUPERS AGENCY TOP SECRET FILE: TAMBLER

Power Type 8

Strength 5

Endurance 5

Intelligence 9

Agility 6

Indestructibility 4

POWERS

-Flight over short distances when in pursuit of plastic

-Telekinetic disc control

-Impenetrable force field marks

-Weaknesses: Wet discs, up-wind push passes, and quality red wine.

PERSONALITY

-Founding member of Knock Out!

-Former member of UCSD Psycho (alumn, captain, and current coach), Safari, Rare Air, BCBC

-Appearances on Chulajuana Brothel, False Itals, Pants off Dance off, and more

-Secret Identity: High School Math Teacher

-Crafty (as in Arts and...)

-Fondness for drink

-Obsession with Disney movies (if you haven't picked up on the Incredibles' reference, now would be a good time...)

GOALS

-To be a reliable, dynamic player on both offense and defense.

-To rock every practice and every party.

-And of course, to Knock Out! the competition.

You want an honest (and sometimes brutally honest) opinion – well go ask Lisa!

That’s right, probably the wisest of us all (mostly because she’s the oldest), Lisa is loaded with experience on and off the field. You want to know about good wine, go ask Lisa. You want to know about good beers, go ask Lisa. You want to know about good food and any cooking tips, repeat after me…Go Ask Lisa! If anyone ever needs a life line…we’d all call Lisa!

Besides being awesome at all avenues of life, Lisa is also really good at Ultimate. She has heaps of club experience; playing on Safari for 9 years. She’s also rocked a couple years in the coed division with Friends with Benefits and Pleasuretown. So, if you have a question about Ultimate…well, go ask Lisa, but we’ll warn you now, she’ll give you her absolute honest opinion so be ready for it! Her goals this year are to have fun, help grow women’s ultimate in San Diego, and have more fun (winning is also fun).

Outside of Ultimate, she also loves walking her wiener dog, Dieter, playing golf (real and bar golf), and tearing it up on Rock Band. Lisa is also known to have the best disappearing act when we're out partying...into a cab.

This is Tonya - and she's going to appologize in advance for forgetting your name!

Actually this is Alice writing for Tonya (except for her personal goals...those really need to come from the heart so I made her write it). First of all as the title states, please don't be offended if Tonya doesn't remember your name, she's just really bad at it! Second of all, she's actually quite shy but warms up pretty quickly. I mean, just look how cute she is below...how could anyone not like her!

KO Crew #2 Tonya "Scooter" Lenaburg

Tonya aka Scooter is an UCSD Psychos alumni and former Psycho Captain. She's also played 6 years on Safari and 1 year with Showdown when she decided to spend a year in Texas Texas - Yee Haw! BTW, (still Alice writing here...) I heart Texas and am incredibly jealous of Tonya for going there without me!

Outside of Ultimate, Tonya is training to be a bad ass firefighter! She's often tired from all her training and stays home a lot, but when we get her to rally, she rallies BIG...Go Big or Go home right? Other interests include snowboarding, crossfit, wakeboarding, and making and tasting wine, mmm.

From Tonya: My personal goals for the season are to continue my athletic training to build on my explosion and vertical leap, and to meet new teammates, make new friends, and tear it up on KO!